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User talk:TheJoeCool
Welcome Hi, welcome to Creepypasta Wiki! Thanks for your edit to the The Haunted Game Genie page. Please be sure to read all of the Site Rules, as it is important to follow them. Failure to abide by them may result in your account being blocked. Read some new pastas by checking out or browse by topic by checking out the Genre Listing. Please leave a message on my talk page if I can help with anything! ClericofMadness (talk) 03:32, October 12, 2017 (UTC) Additionally I'm noticing a number of mechanical issues present in the story itself. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:36, October 12, 2017 (UTC) :The above post should clear up your questions as we no longer accept haunted-game pastas without an appeal. Additionally I can highlight the story issues present if you're looking for more in-depth explanation as to why this should be reviewed and refined if you plan on making a spinoff appeal. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:45, October 12, 2017 (UTC) EmpyrealInvective (talk) 03:36, October 12, 2017 (UTC) Re: Story I'm just going to address this piece by piece as there are quite a lot of issues here. First and foremost, stories need to be posted to the site. Simply linking to another site is not an accepted method as there is no guarantee the link will not redirect users to a malware site or to a site that violates Wikia's Terms of Use. There are a number of ways you can format the story to achieve what you wanted in the alternative link. "I do indeed find the rule of not being able to have an emotional driven story unorthodox" I'm sorry, but I'm going to ask that you read those links again. There is no rule against having an emotional-driven plot, there are rules about haunted game pastas with an appeal due to their tendency to follow a lot of overused tropes (which I will outline below). I'd suggest reading this line carefully: "No "haunted game" style video game pastas. We're still holding off on banning gamepastas entirely, but hopefully this will improve things." Before jumping to conclusions, I am going to ask that you familiarize yourself with the site rules. "My story isn't really about gaming at all, the gaming aspect was just used as a plot device" I'm sorry, but it seems extremely similar to haunted gaming stories, you just switched out a game with a Game Genie (Take lines like this for example: "After a while I kept seeing the “Game Genie” screen but it was all glitchy, and I started hearing noises coming from the T.V., they sounded like demons screaming" and "Okay this is some freaky shit at this moment the game genie is really glitched the floating finger is moving on its own its spelling something it says omg it says LEAVE NOW KYLE. jesus it knows my name" which both are common plot points in haunted gaming stories.) The fact is, the horror present in the story stems from a cursed/haunted Game Genie. Story issues: The method of telling the story is pretty flawed when you take it into account that they're writing all of this (seemingly in real time). "I heard the same noise coming from my front door. I went to check it out, it was just some Trick r’ Treaters, I heard a noise coming from my backdoor, I went to the window and just saw a racoon eating out of my trash can, I went outside to scare it off, I then then hear the same weird noise coming from the front door again, I go to tell those little kids I’m not giving out candy, but then when I opened the door, there was nobody there." and "My cell is dead and my home phone cord looks like it has been cut, omg who or what is in my house, god it's breaking through my door, omg it’s..." First off, who, when writing a journal entry describes every event that is happening to them. It feels really forced to have your protagonist writing that someone is breaking into their house instead of doing anything else. Having them describe what the game genie is doing, check their doors (finding them locked), try to break a window, and then go back to writing feels very far-fetched. This has been used in Lovecraft's writings because there is no other option left for the protagonist. Here it comes off like: the game genie does something spooky, which they detail, my phone isn't working, let me write that down, something is breaking into my room, better make a note of it. There is absolutely no reason why they should be writing this down rather than continuing to break the windows or find some other means of egress. Story issues cont.: "I do not believe it's similar to any other previous stories" Your story actually hits a lot of the same tropes in haunted gaming stories. (The game surpassing its technical capabilities: "what was weird is that is looked more detailed than what the NES could do, it looked more 32 bit than 8 bit." The 'game knows my name' trope: "the floating finger is moving on its own its spelling something it says omg it says LEAVE NOW KYLE. jesus it knows my name", etc.) Story issues cont.: While it is admirable to try and add more of an emotional component, I'm afraid your entries need a lot more work. Who exactly writes an entry like this: "I got up early today to have a walk in the park and draw things I saw like ducks, trees, etc. Man I think I got up at like 7:30. It’s now 8:57 now, and I’m late for work gotta go, and of course my mom calls, weird, I never heard my mom so upset, she kept telling me to turn on the T.V., I wonder what she’s talking about." Who writes in this style, detailing the minutia of their daily life as they're unfolding. A journal is meant more for processing and recounting information. Additionally, a journal entry is meant to be private and only read by the protagonist. There seems to be a lot of exposition here: "I can’t believe I’m gonna have a Thanksgiving without my dad, I’m only 25 and my father has been taken away from me." The protagonist knows his age and that his father died ("I’m only 25 and my father has been taken away from me"). This information doesn't need to be directly stated. Conclusion: There're other issues present in the story, but I feel like this is quite a bit and is going to require quite a lot of re-working if you plan on making an appeal. Feel free to read a guide I wrote on journal-based stories if you're looking for more advice. Additionally feel free to read the overused tropes page as your story also hits a lot of those. Best of luck in your writing. I'd strongly suggest using the writer's workshop for your next story to troubleshoot any similar issues. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 04:40, October 12, 2017 (UTC) :If you look at the messages above/read the links, you'll notice that that's not the case as that blog is literally about how to write an emotionally involving piece. As I said above: "I'm going to ask that you read those links again" as it seems like you've yet to do so. Also, I suggest looking above as a majority of your story is written in real time with him talking about receiving a call from his mother who sounds distressed as they're writing the passage. Who answers a call from someone while they're writing and continues writing while they're actively talking? The fact is, there are a large number of scenes told in real time so much so that the writing feels incredibly unrealistic. :"This story wasn't made to be good, it was made to see if people liked this style of writing." I'm sorry, but this is a literature site that is looking for stories that are well-written. The fact still remains that are still present. If you're looking for feedback only on the writing style, you can try the writer's workshop, but having a story that still violates our site rules, repeatedly uses the tropes associated with that genre, and has massive plot issues does not mean that it's going back up unless these fundamental issues in the story. EmpyrealInvective (talk) 01:16, October 13, 2017 (UTC)